The Music Festival landscape is vast and wide.

Luckily you have The What Podcast by your side at all times.

Which bands this year that matter with Barry Courter, Brad Steiner, Lord Taco, diving into

the world, the music industry, music festivals and everything in between.

Another one starts right now.

Welcome into the what podcast, which bands this year that matter over the years, we have

talked to countless bands, artists and festival goers every now and then.

We like to take a look back at some of the best moments of the what podcasts five or

so minutes in what we call cleverly a high five.

Another great moment from the what podcast right now.

You're really good at this.

I have no idea what's happening.

Well, you said something fascinating a second ago that you were the guinea pig and you don't

you didn't.

I'm a turkey.

And that you don't go into live performances at all timid, but you don't really seem as

though a kind of person that does anything very timid.

Not really.

No, maybe maybe maybe taking an eye exam.

Oh my God, that puff that puff of air makes me cringe.

I hate that puff of air.

I'm very timid in an eye exam.

Got it.

I have a question along those and totally shifting gears just because I want to ask

because I just watched it before was it more difficult totally shifting gears more difficult

to do the video for release or to do the song.

That video is just the most intense piece of work I've ever been a part of and and really,

you know that thank you for the shift in gears because I actually was I was just going over

it yesterday.

I reconnected with the director Katherine Fordham who you know when you go through the

story of my life and then you hear that song.

I think one thing that she picked up on was that the song is is more about one specific

moment in my life, but the video is about the whole thing like the big picture and she

didn't really know my story.

She just I think adapted the storytelling that she found and connected with in that

song but also on the whole album daylight and I think she wrote it into the treatment

for the video in such a thoughtful profound way and you know it took a long time to shoot

the video.

I had to train to be able to pull that boat across.

Try pulling a boat full of water and seaweed across a sandy beach.

Just give it a whirl.

It's not super easy.

Pull that and to be able to cry on.

I mean there's a lot of acting going on in that.

I wasn't acting.

That's the difference is that I that moment was really spiritual also because there had

been these fires.

You know the Woolsey fires came really really close to my home and also took the home of

a dear friend of mine and we were right beneath where her house used to be and you know having

the fires blazed through you know in Southern California when they did and watch the destruction

but also the recreation that it had caused that there was a pretty pivotal emotional

moment as I'm dancing around this fire and there's like fire marshals and police officers

and like all kinds of people had to be there to make sure that everybody in Southern California

knew that we had had a permit for the fire.

Fires are not really they're kind of frowned upon.

Yeah.

They're not a good idea.

They're not a good idea ever.

Especially not in California.

But that made it even more emotional and special I think to be able to really you know have

that.

Yeah real quick by acting I didn't mean like pretending because it was clear it was emotional.

I just meant there's a lot of emotion and yeah no absolutely and very little makeup

and hair and you know there was no wind machines.

There was no fog machines.

There's no there's no magic tricks happening in that video.

It really is happening as you're seeing it and I think that was a profound choice as

well to just really let it be what it is and let my story speak for itself in many ways

just through the lyrics of the song but also through the visuals.

And for those who don't know exactly your story I don't want to go through it too much.

I mean you do such a wonderful job everywhere you go when you talk about this sort of stuff

but when the nocturnals ended and your marriage did as well and you went into your own isolation

of sorts right.

Yeah I did the lockdown before the lockdown because I didn't know about that there was

going to be a lockdown later.

I should have saved it.

You were well you were well practiced.

Let's just put it that way you're well practiced.

Yeah no my my relationship in my personal life as well as in my public life fell apart

in front of everybody and it was a really really difficult thing and it was also it

happened mainly because I wasn't able to separate my music career from my real life because

they were completely entangled and I also wasn't able to separate the pain that I was

feeling from music so I kind of blamed music for all of the things that had gone wrong

and and backed away from music in every possible way.

And when I say that I mean like I called my management I was like I'm done.

I called Benny my my guitarist and my dear friend and said like I cannot promise you

when or if this is going to come back again and that and then there was three years that

went by with very little thought or you know discussion as to what was going to happen

next and it didn't worry you it didn't scare you.

Oh it scared the crap out of me of course yeah no I was really I was devastated and

when you're broken like that it's weird how time just kind of goes into a warp but I had

other things to be scared about too like getting restraining orders and going to court and

you know there were other issues and and dramatic things occurring in my life that took precedence

over that and in the midst of all that as well having this incredible blossoming love

with the love of my life and now my husband Eric Valentine there was just no room no space

for me to share any of that with with the outside world it was very intense.